In raising children there are certain momentous occasions we call milestones. Baby books list things like “waves bye-bye” and “holds cup,” but neither of those were half as significant to me as when my baby learned how to blow her nose. At last I could see an end to the perpetual slimy upper lip. Likewise, I can’t recall when her teeth came in, but I can pinpoint when the whole process was over because I finally got some sleep at night. And when she could finally zip her own jacket--hallelujah!
I’ve concluded, then, that those Hallmark baby books just don’t reflect what is really important to us parents. I polled several moms, and here’s what we agree are truly notable events: when they learn to pump on a swing. (Do I hear an amen to that?) When we make it through a department store without a full-blown tantrum. And when a TV show holds their attention long enough for us to finally get a shower or a cup of coffee.
My daughter, now in the throes of those particular milestones, posted a Snapchat video one time. She was a victim of sleep deprivation and was finally breaking down into hilarity. This was what she came up with:
“This song is inspired by The Greatest Showman’s “A Million Dreams” and it got me thinking-- what would my dream be?
‘And every night I miss my bed
With children calling over head
A million needs are keeping me awake
I dream of what the world could be
When all my kids are over three
The “toddler milestones” is all it’s gonna take
The laundry, dishes . . . sleep will have to wait.”
Now there are some milestones which are equally significant though we remember them with dread: when they learn to climb out of the crib. When they learn to turn a doorknob. When they learn to start a house fire.
Of course, some milestones go both ways. We’re delighted when they can help dress themselves because we’re not dealing with a boneless jellyfish anymore, but the twenty outfits they go through in a day is just too much. And it is so cute when language develops until you realize there is no way to turn it off. Ever been around a five-year old? They can make one sentence last fifteen minutes without taking a breath. These kids want active participation too; a simple “uh-huh” doesn’t suffice. Plus, after they learn to talk, they can learn to talk back!
It never ends. There are milestones through all the ages. First Haircut (wait, you had a boy?). First Solar System Science Fair Project. First Day with a Learner’s Permit, which can also be labeled as First Gray Hair. (I tell you, I’ve never been the same since. In fact, when our fourth came of age, I turned to her father and said, “This one is on you. I absolutely refuse to put my life into the hands of a fifteen-year-old-behind-the-wheel one more time.” I still choose the back seat when we go anywhere together as a family. True story. Ask my kids.)
My cousin reported that she cried when her first-born left for college. The following year, however, when both sons were leaving the nest, she turned cartwheels down the street! You may not be there yet, so I predict your favorite will be like mine: the first time they say those three little words all mommies long to hear: “no more diapers.”
Milestones—marking the path to maturity.